6 years ago my relationship was going through a challenge and many told me to leave.
End it all.
Walk away.
Start over.
We were close to that. . .living in separate rooms under the same roof.
Why did I stay?
Something intuitively knew that our love was stronger than this circumstance.
Right around the same time I had learned about coaching and started to do some health and life coaching schooling. Within a couple experiences I learned the concept of healing self first.
I realized how much I had never truly dealt with my own shit and without doing that there was no way I was going to have a truly loving relationship with anyone.
In that moment I took radical responsibility for me and decided to do the work.
Some saw this as “taking blame” for something “i didn’t do”. . .
They werent ready for what I knew. . . I was doing this for my healing first and then us.
Some told me that I cant change another person so dont waste my time. . .
They didnt know what I knew. . . .I was doing this for me first and then us.
Some told me I was being stupid and taken advantage of. . .
They didnt see what I saw from the inside. . . .I wanted to feel love fully, for self first then us.
A question I ask daily of myself. . .
What would love do? (Which I have tattooed on my wrist now as a permanent reminder)
I knew from a place of love that we both needed to heal.. .
We both needed to feel safe to love.
We both needed to love ourself.
We both needed to let ourself be loved by another.
Leaving would have been the easy road.
Staying, healing, loving, receiving, is the harder longer road.
It was worth every moment to now experience moments like this together.
We are 8.5 years in and almost one year married and we have both grown so much for ourself first then for each other.
We made it official when we decided to heal, grow and love together 6 years ago.
Love is a choice. And it starts with self. Once we do that another will be able to love you and you will be willing to receive it.
Sharing this for anyone who might need to hear this.
Trusting in the journey and what’s best for you is what matters. I didn’t know if it would turn out this way. I let go of the control and let God and here we are today.
And at the time I knew letting go could have resulted in not being together and I was at peace with that as well.
Trust that God has your back.
Much love
Coach Jackie
PS. I love you mostestest Michael J. Morris !!
