I love how the duality of life can teach us so much. We don’t always see it that way at the moment. In the moment we feel like. . . What the heck??
During that WTH moment was when a good friend of mine got real with me and told me the truth about me that I wasn’t seeing because I was too close to it.
Here is what I have learned about myself after 2 weeks of being the caretaker for my dad who has dementia and my friend getting real with me!
1. I can’t fix this! This is unfixable.
How many times have you been in a situation where you were determined to fix it and make it better and you hit this wall of frustration and anger or sadness because it’s not changing?
We try to change others and situations we have no control over and it keeps us stuck in this state that does not serve us or them. “Dementia can’t be fixed. . . so stop beating your head against a wall!” is what he said to me and it hit me right between the eyes.
2. I’m not cut out for this! And that is OK!!
I have always been someone who takes anything on and is determined to prove she is capable and good at it. We can be good at anything we put our mind to but it doesn’t mean we should do it!
This caretaking thing is not something I am designed to do. My sister on the other hand is a rock star at it and has done it for 30 years of her life. Me. . .not so much. . .and that is soooo OK!!
3. I made it emotional and about me versus seeing it as a business transaction.
My dad has always been my hero and I love him dearly but when it comes to his low moments of dementia he is not my dad and I needed to see that and separate that. I tried to love and please him through the situations as his daughter versus being his non emotionally attached caretaker with firm direction to help him through those moments.
How many times in business have we made it personal and struggled because of it? When someone says no or leaves a program we tend to make it about us and emaotions take over. This was the same with my dad.
4. Asking for help is not selfish, its a non negotiable.
I knew when I decided to drop everything, fly across the country and spend 6 weeks or more helping care for my dad that it wouldn’t be easy. I fell into guilt around how much my brothers had done before I got out here that I thought I could muscle through the whole time.
Within a couple days I knew I needed to ask for help. Ask them to come periodically to give me time away to recharge, rejuvenate and separate from the situation to keep my sanity and overall mental and physical health ok.
Can you relate to any of these?
Take these learnings and apply them to your life and business.
Action taker activity: Reflect on how these four statements above apply to you in your life and business. Journal about each one and see where you can adjust or look at it differently to make some minor tweaks to have a different experience in your life or business experience.
If you hit on something and need support on changing the way you are thinking, drop a comment below or message me.
Awareness is the first step to all change. Now that I am aware I have the power and control to change! And so do you!
Much love
Coach Jackie
(Yes, I am up at 3am writing this cause that’s what dad does! lol)
