Today I’m deciding to let myself BE
Be with my feelings
Be with my present situation
Be with my fears
Be with my sadness
Be with my confusion
Do you let yourself sit in the muck for any period of time?
I never did and still struggle to let myself feel the feels.
I’m not saying sit in it forever and live there.
I’m talking about not avoiding it like its not even happening.
A great example of this is my current situation.
I got here on Wednesday and after 24 hours I thought to myself “you need to be productive and get stuff done in the down times between caring for dad”.
And I couldn’t.
I sat there frozen staring at the computer screen. Tons of busy thoughts of what I could be getting done but no action was coming through my fingers to the computer.
This “blank space” I see as free time to get stuff done isn’t real. Its space I need to process all the emotional stuff that is coming up from witnessing my parents as different people than I once knew.
Grace to feel the feels.
The challenge with trying to be in a positive and productive place during a traumatic time is that you dont give yourself the time to process and purge the lower vibration feelings you are having and instead avoid them or stuff them down to hopefully never be seen again.
But guess what?
They are still there and will come back with a vengeance and show up in way more destructive ways.
Its scary to let yourself sit in it and truly let yourself feel it. It doesnt feel safe to.
What if I can’t get out of it?
Quicker and smoother than the alternative.
Trust in yourself.
1. Grab a journal and write it all out. Every last damn feeling you are having. All of it!
Dont worry, no one will read it like the diary when you were little. Unless you want someone to in your future book.
Oh and for those die hard self developers, dont worry, just because you wrote it out it doesn’t mean you are going to get more of it.
Thats like thinking you want a camel and it shows up in your living room in seconds.
2. Give yourself a time frame to process and BE. 1 day, 3 days, whatever feels right. . . But dont live there.
This is where we dont trust ourself to move through it. Trust yourself you will.
Process, feel, purge, feel, grace, feel, and then you can move on to where you desire to be.
3. Reach out for support from the right people. Someone who will listen and acknowledge your feelings and not tell you you’re wrong for having them. You are not wrong and never have to do this alone.
For a recovering I Got It Girl like me this step can be hard.
You dont want to feel wrong, dumb, incapable, negative etc so you stay to yourself and try to “handle it”. You are safe.
And if you feel like you dont have anyone who will listen and acknowledge you, you have me. Reach out.
4. After you have gone through this process then decide what you want to be experiencing differently and start to write about that.
This step CAN’T be the first step. Which is usally what we try to do.
Masculine our way through and forcing a new set of thoughts and feelings to mask the ones we wont let ourself feel.
Can you relate?
Decide today you are safe to BE and feel.
If you need support reach out. Dont do this alone.
On the other side of processing, feeling, purging, feeling, grace, feeling, there is a light that will shine the path to your desired freedom!