You are not alone…
Even if you feel alone in a room full of people…
You are aloud to feel. . .
Even if it worries other people…
Most of my life I have been known as “Happy Jackie” the one who is always smiling and always good to go. So much that the minute I wasn’t smiling someone would stop me and ask what was wrong and try to cheer me up to make me smile.
For decades I held myself to this story and it created the belief that I was not aloud to feel anything but happy. I wasn’t aloud to show anything but happy. If I did it would be wrong and must be “fixed”.
This was my self created belief based on what response of the world around me. The world around me rarely knew people that were happy so I became unique and known for it. It felt like an obligation to the world around me that I had to uphold to keep others happy.
I just got asked this past weekend why I didn’t want to be social and meet people at an event. The old me wouldn’t be asked that because she would do what she was supposed to do, even if it was at the expense of her energy and health. Today I am able to confidently stand in my decision when I am an energetic match to an activity and when I am not.
I am called an extrovert because I can talk to anyone. Meet people and have great conversation. Outgoing is the word. This is amazing way to be. . . .as long as you honor when you need your introverted you time to recharge and release all the energy taken in. Without that being outgoing and extroverted because you should be can be the silent killer.
For decades in the public eye I did what I had to do to uphold the version of me that shined light in the world! It became my purpose!
But once I got back into the privacy of my own space I didn’t know or understand how to release, recharge, and emotionally regulate for me after so much energy being given out to others.
When we don’t understand who we are and what we need and don’t honor that it creates hidden coping mechanisms that sometimes are not the healthiest for our body, mind and spirit.
I talk about shining your light with the world all the time. I want you to know that means all parts of you. Not just the shiny moments. . . The Happy Jackie moments. . . The acceptable ones.
The more we shine the light on the darkness as well as the light, the more others will feel safe to do the same. This will save lives. I know it did mine.
If this hits home for you please don’t hesitate to reach out to me to talk anytime you need to. If it wasn’t for the past few years of my journey of self actualization, self acceptance and self love I might not be here posting this with you.
Much love to you all
Coach Jackie